


Behind Closed Doors

by cuddlybangchan



Category: Stray Kids
Genre: Abuse, Boys Kissing, Gay, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Suicide Attempt, not sure what else to tag so might add more later, triggering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 08:02:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20524670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlybangchan/pseuds/cuddlybangchan
Summary: If someone were to look at Felix’s life they would think he had it all. Captain of the high school swim team as a Junior, straight A’s, rich parents who would give him anything in the world, hottest guy in school, and some of the best friends a guy could ask for. He had everything, or that’s what most people thought.





	1. Chapter 1

If someone were to look at Felix’s life they would think he had it all. Captain of the high school swim team as a Junior, straight A’s, rich parents who would give him anything in the world, hottest guy in school, and some of the best friends a guy could ask for. He had everything, or that’s what most people thought.   
The truth was he was never good enough in the eyes of his parents. They had crazy expectations for him that he just couldn’t meet. Everything he did they compared him to his older cousin Chan, who was apparently perfect at everything he did. He tried everything to live up to the older boy. He tried out for the swim team his freshman year because Chan was the captain, and he knew his parents would be happy to see him following in Chan’s footsteps. That led to them screaming at him when his time wasn’t good enough in competition. Chan got perfect grades, and when Felix would get a 99% his parents acted like it was the end of the world. He was never skinny enough, his parents constantly putting him on diets and telling him he was fat. They made him go to the gym with Chan hoping he would lose some weight. Honestly through it all Felix never got mad at Chan though. His cousin was the nicest guy in the world, and Felix considered him one of his best friends, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. He never told Chan about the treatment he was getting though.   
Really the only good thing in his life was Felix’s friends. While his friend group was considered the popular students at their school, they didn’t really act like it. Jisung was his best friend, being born a day apart really brought the two together and made them basically platonic soulmates. Along with Jisung of course comes his boyfriend, Minho. Felix isn’t sure if he would have ever been friends with Minho without meeting him through Jisung, but he’s so glad he did because the older was a really great friend. Hyunjin and Seungmin were a package deal when Felix first met them, not that it would have made a difference, he would have become both of their friends anyways. Jeongin is the youngest boy of their friend group, and the target of all of their attention. Felix loves them all so much, and that’s why it makes what he’s about to do so hard.   
He just can’t take it anymore. The constant yelling and belittling. The comparing. The fact that he hates himself probably more than his parents do, which is saying a lot. He’s really doing them a favor. They won’t care when they find out. They will probably be glad, he reasons with himself. He knows it will be hard on the other boys, but they will eventually move on right?   
This constant battle is going on in his head as he makes his way to the bridge about a mile walk from his house. It’s late in the night and it’s peacefully quiet. Felix can’t decide if this is a good or bad thing. His left alone with his thoughts for longer than he usually allows himself to be. Once he makes it to the bridge he walks along until he’s about to the middle and stops. He puts his hands on the rails and looks out at the water. It looks almost welcoming, like it wants him to jump. There have been so many nights where he has thought about this exact moment. He has never felt so ready to just end it all. He starts to climb over the railing. It’s finally time, he’s going to be free. He feels the tears start to stream down his face. Just as he’s about to lift his other leg over the railing he feels arms wrap around him and pull him down.


	2. Chapter 2

Changbin wouldn’t call himself a loner per se, okay well that might be a lie. He didn’t have any friends, but that wasn’t because he didn’t want them. People just didn’t take notice of him. So he spent most of his school days in the back of the class silent, sitting alone in the library during lunch, or on the front steps reading with his headphones in. He was the quiet kid that just passed through life unnoticed. In a way he kind of liked it, but it did get lonely. He did have one friend, Woojin, but he had already graduated the year before. They hung out as much as their busy school schedules allowed for them too, but it definitely wasn’t the same as when Woojin was in high school with him. Changbin hopes he will get into the same university though. He had already applied, but he wouldn’t hear back for awhile. 

Like he said before he kind of likes being alone, so that’s how he finds himself walking the streets of Seoul with his music blasting at 1 am. His parents are pretty relaxed about curfew especially on weekends, so they don’t mind him being out so late on a Friday night. He does this almost every weekend, just walking with no purpose in mind. He lets his feet take him where ever they want to go. He’s found some pretty cool spots not many people know about by doing this, and he always shares them with Woojin. 

Tonight he finds himself closer to the richer part of town. He doesn’t come here often, but he will admit it is very beautiful. Sometimes he will use the architecture for inspiration for his drawings. He doesn’t come from a poor family really, more middle class is what his parents would say. They are very loving and supportive of everything he wants to do, and he would never trade them for anything in the world. He doesn’t need to be rich, when he has a family like he does. 

He decides to take his headphones off, something he doesn’t do very often, but he wants to enjoy the sounds of the city. He is nearing a bridge and he thinks that the sound of the water might be nice to listen to. As he walks up to the entrance he looks down the bridge and sees a boy about halfway down. He’s looking out at the water thoughtfully. It takes him a minute, but Changbin finally recognizes him as Lee Felix. Of course he knows of the boy, swim team captain, he’s the most popular guy at school. He wonders what a boy like Felix is doing out this late at night by himself. Shouldn’t he be at a party or at least out with all of his friends? 

He almost turns around to walk the other way, so he wouldn’t have to deal with walking past the other boy when movement catches his eye. Felix is climbing on the railing. That can’t be safe, Changbin thinks. Then he sees him try to pull his leg over the railing, and that’s when it clicks in his mind. Holy shit is he going to kill himself? Without a second thought Changbin finds himself running towards the younger boy. He reaches him faster than he thought he would, and he’s grateful. He grabs the boy and pulls him down. He can see the tears streaming down his face. 

Felix starts sobbing, begging for him to let him go. “Please, please let me just end it! Please I can’t do this anymore!” He’s shaking at this point, and Changbin just holds him. He’s too stunned to say anything, and all he can do is think what could have brought THE Lee Felix to the point of suicide?


End file.
